Section 1 - Advice on Marriage Readings

1. Advice on your Marriage

Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficult and fear assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

2. Extract from a Victorian guide to love.

Don't ever both be angry at the same time
Never let the cares of the world assume such importance that they cause you to neglect each other.
Be genuinely sympathetic with each other’s trials and tribulations.
Never make a remark calculated to bring ridicule upon the other.
Make any criticism in the most loving and gentle way possible.
Don’t be cross with an error which was done with a good motive and the best judgement at the time.
Don’t boast about the sacrifices you make to each other.
When you part, make time for a loving goodbye.

3. Extract from Captain’s Corelli’s Mandolin


Love is a temporary madness, It erupts like volcanoes and then subsides
And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, It is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being ‘in love’ which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches. They find that they are one tree and not two.


4. Foundations of Marriage by Regina Hill

Love, trust, and forgiveness are the foundations of marriage. In marriage, many days will bring happiness, while other days may be sad. But together, two hearts can overcome everything...In marriage, all of the moments won't be exciting or romantic, and sometimes worries and anxiety will be overwhelming. But together, two hearts that accept will find comfort together. Recollections of past joys, pains, and shared feelings will be the glue that holds everything together during even the worst and most insecure moments. Reaching out to each other as a friend, and becoming the confidant and companion that the other one needs, is the true magic and beauty of any two people together. It's inspiring in each other a dream or a feeling, and having faith in each other and not giving up... even when all the odds say to quit. It's allowing each other to be vulnerable, to be himself or herself, even when the opinions or thoughts aren't in total agreement or exactly what you'd like them to be. It's getting involved and showing interest in each other, really listening and being available, the way any best friend should be. Exactly three things need to be remembered in a marriage if it is to be a mutual bond of sharing, caring, and loving throughout life: love, trust, and forgiveness.

5. In Marriage

In marriage, cherish each other in big ways and in small ways, and never forget the magic of those three little words "I love you …"

In marriage, remember that it is the little things that make the difference …
Don't forget the birthdays and the anniversaries.
An occasional note means a lot.

Share each other's life - even the small details - for too often we forget that
day-after-day becomes year-after-year,and then it's gone.

Give each other room to grow …We all need our time alone.
Keep strong your faith in each other; time has a funny way of testing us,
and it's faith that gets us through.

Respect one another … this world could always use more of that
Speak your mind honestly, openly, but with kindness.


6. Look to this day

Look to this day for it is life
The very life of life in its brief course
lie all the varieties and realities of your existence
The bliss of growth
The glory of action
The splendour of beauty
For yesterday is already a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope
Look well, therefore, to this day.

7. Love That's Meant

How often do you find that one person that you know you will love forever?
A love that's so strong and passionate that its ribbons of joy you can't sever.
Maybe it's the friendship that's so evident in the couple that make their love so strong.
Maybe it's the fact that fate played its hand and the partnership was meant all along.
You will know when you meet these people as their bliss is so blatant to see.
Even when they are down, and are wearing a frown, you know it’s only temporary.
Never take for granted the fortune you've been given, a sole mate's so difficult of find.
Offering your life and your love to one another is the most generous gift of its kind.
As the years come and go, and you both understand the reason you were brought together
Gaining cherished memories in a future ever happy and a bond due to last forever.
Envisage your potential together, and grab hold of those thoughts so tight.
Numerous dreams to be had of the family you will raise, and being together feels so right.
Excitement and uncertainty at what the future holds and enthusiasm to begin a life anew
Never to forget the past spent single, but the future presents such a perfect view.
From this day forward, in sickness and in health, till death do you part, is your oath.
To a very dear couple on your wedding day we all wish love to you both.

8. Love’s Testing

Life is precious and isn’t always filled with the best or the worst,
It is not all roses or all thorns.
There are ups and downs, good days and bad - and there are some days
which are the nadir, the pits, the all-time lows.
It is at those times when your love for each other will be tested.
It is at those times when you become true partners and friends.
It is at those times that you must show patience and kindness.
When your love is tested, show respect for each other.
Be the most important person in each other’s life.
Love and care for each other when you are strong,
be each other's strength in weakness
Consult with each other and communicate.
For communication allows for disagreement without being disagreeable.
When you love, give generously of yourself, without counting the cost of giving.
Remember the saying if you love a little, you give a little, but love a lot and you give a lot.
For true love, when tested, endures…


9. Marriage Advice from Jane Wells (1886)

Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger.
Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break.
Believe the best rather than the worst.
People have a way of living up or down to your opinion of them.
Remember that true friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship.
The person you choose to marry is deserving of the courtesies
and kindnesses you bestow on your friends.
Please hand this down to your children and your children's children.


Never Marry But For Love

Never marry but for love; but see that thou lovest what is lovely. He that minds a body and not a soul has not the better part of that relationship, and will consequently lack the noblest comfort of a married life.
Between a man and his wife nothing ought rule but love. As love ought to bring them together, so it is the best way to keep them well together.
A husband and wife that love one another show their children that they should do so too. Others visibly lose their authority in their families by their contempt of one another, and teach their children to be unnatural by their own examples.
Let not enjoyment lessen, but augment, affection; it being the basest of passions to like when we have not, what we slight when we possess.
Here it is we ought to search out our pleasure, where the field is large and full of variety, and of an enduring nature; sickness, poverty or disgrace being not able to shake it because it is not under the moving influences of worldly contingencies.
Nothing can be more entire and without reserve; nothing more zealous, affectionate and sincere; nothing more contented than such a couple, nor greater temporal felicity than to be one of them.


10. The Art Of A Good Marriage by Wilferd Arlan Peterson

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created. In marriage the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner; it is being the right partner.



11. Your Marriage

You share today the joy of a deep commitment
And a sacred trust, and you have given each other
The most precious gift of love

Treasure it, nurture it and encourage it
With all the honesty you used in creating it

You are sharing something rare and beautiful
Always speak the truth and listen attentively
So that you may understand each others thoughts and intentions

Inspire each other by sharing your accomplishments
Say I love you often to retain the warmth between you

Laugh a lot too, even when you are angry
Remember you are each other’s best friend

Stand together and for each other always
May each day be a blessing
And the fulfillment of your dreams.